ARTICLES
WHY WRITE WHEN NOBODY READS?
TELL ME WHAT I DON'T KNOW!
YOUR MOTHER WAS RIGHT
ARE YOU TALKING TO YOURSELF?
WHAT ARE YOUR ADS REALLY SAYING?
ARE YOU A LEADER OR A FOLLOWER?
WHY ENGLISH TEACHERS DESPISE COPYWRITERS
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(This article appeared in the April 2001 issue of The Business 2 Business Marketer, published by the Business Marketing Association)
Not long ago, I heard about a company that was reputed to be impressive. I went to the firm's website to learn more. After waiting several minutes for the site to download, I spent about ten more reviewing the content.
What does this amazing company do? I don't have a clue. I read their mission, product information, press releases, "About Us," and more - and I can't begin to tell you just what it is they sell or why I should buy any. I can't even make an educated guess. The copy is full of buzzwords and odd phrases that might have made sense to their marketing director, but were lost on someone who might be a prospect.
What's really sad about that is that they're in our industry: business-to-business marketing.
Mom knows.
Your mother told you not to use bad words, and I'm here to echo her advice. But when I talk about "bad" words, I'm not referring to those expletives that earned you a mouthful of soap. I'm talking about the strange language of today's corporate world. Language that's so arcane and changes so often that it's frequently incomprehensible. Language that's misused by one corporate visionary and mimicked by hundreds of others within minutes.
You graduated.
Higher education leaves an evil legacy with nearly everyone who attends: the residual effects of trying to impress professors. Yeah, you did it, too. Never mind that your PoliSci 101 prof is a disciple of Rosseau. Never mind that he dedicated his life and dissertation to some minute aspect of the man's writings. Never mind that he has actually knelt and wept before Rosseau's grave. No, you're going to mask your complete ignorance (and failure to read the assignment) by throwing a few five-syllable words and some phrase-book French into that term paper.
You've outgrown your college days and the need to obfuscate. In today's information-overloaded world, the best way to break through is with clear, accurate communication. A good start is to stop making common misuses of words. You say everyone else does it? Did that excuse work with your mother?
Utilize use.
It's easy to understand why people dislike "use." Heck, it only has three unimpressive letters. Has some negative connotations, too - you don't want anyone to "use" you. "Utilize" sounds far more impressive, doesn't it? But the two words have somewhat different meanings. "Utilize" is at its most correct when it describes something serving the customary function of something else. Use a hammer to pound nails, but utilize a screwdriver to do the same thing when the hammer isn't handy.
Left wanting.
"Want" is another word that's just too folksy for many folks. So instead they endeavor or desire. While those words may be technically correct, they're not as precise. In fact, saying "desire" creates images of pounding hearts and lust, not industrial procurement - and trying to become even more impressive by using variants like "desirous" is just laughable.
At nauseam.
"At," a handy preposition, becomes an odd-sounding crutch in brochures and websites: "At Acme Widgets, we're dedicated to quality and committed to service." Wouldn't it be more communicative to say "Acme Widgets is dedicated to quality and committed to service" or the even-friendlier "we're dedicated to quality and committed to service"? After all, your logo is nearby, so people know they're reading about you and not your competitor. Save "at" for specifying locations and times.
It's appropriate.
Yes, there are times when "appropriate" is apt, but it's all too often an inappropriate appendage. "Once we review the information, we'll take appropriate action" is no stronger than "once we review the information, we'll take action." In fact, because it's less economical, one could argue that it's weaker. Unless there's a burning need to distinguish your course of action from an inappropriate one, don't use it.
Hardly unique.
Since this powerful word means "sole" or "one of a kind," why do we see so much literature describing products as "very unique" or "most unique?" Hedging, that's why. If your product or service is indeed unique, don't hesitate to use the word. If you must soften it to mollify the company's lawyers, utilize another word.
Poor quality.
Serious writers have been losing this battle for years, but you shouldn't contribute to a great word's degradation. Quality is a noun that represents the essential character of something or the degree of its excellence. It isn't an adjective meaning "very good." You can say that a Rolls-Royce displays a distinctive quality of workmanship, but you shouldn't refer to it as a "quality motorcar." Your widget may have high quality, but that doesn't make it a "quality product."
Stop verbing.
A similar problem appears in the utilization of perfectly good nouns as horrible verbs. "She and I will conference on Thursday." Why pass up the perfectly good "confer" or "talk?" Ditto for "interface."
In fashion.
Some words spread as quickly as an email-borne virus and are equally tough to eradicate. Just because your competitors are "partnering" with their suppliers doesn't mean you can't work with yours. Facilitate your customers' understanding of your marketing materials by replacing words like "facilitate" with their simpler, less flashy cousins. Save "robust" for strong coffee, not software. And leave "world-class" to Olympic gymnasts.
Empty cup.
After all, sending a memo that reads "the brewed beverage receptacle continues to demonstrate a skew indicative of nonpossession of the essential contents" isn't going to impress anyone you really need to impress. Won't shame them into making more coffee, either.
Article copyright 2001 Scott Flood All Rights Reserved
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